“I didn’ realize the abuse I was enduring stemmed from being married to a narcissist. I thought something was wrong with me and that I wasn’t doing things right. It wasn’t until I left and changed my perspective that I recognized the cause of my suffering. Once it was safe for me to leave or for him to go, I chose my own happiness over everything else. The abuse felt different within the confines of our home compared to the outside world, which led to self-doubt ‘and questioning my own experiences.

The entire ordeal had a significant impact on me, both positive and negative. Initially, I was walking on eggshells, unsure of the situation and who to trust. I felt isolated, with layers and stages of loneliness growing as my awareness increased. However, gaining awareness also allowed me to break free from this isolation. No longer trapped in fear, I found the strength to leave my metaphorical island and journey towards a new life.

There were warning signs along the way that I failed to recognize at first. One defining moment occurred during Thanksgiving 2012. As everyone prepared dinner together, there was a sense of joy and excitement in having my family united. After stepping out to wish a friend a happy Thanksgiving, I returned home only to be confronted by him wielding a leather belt. He had the audacity to whip me with our children as witnesses. That made it clear something had to change.

At that moment, I wondered, “What did I do wrong? What’s happening?” It was stil Thanksgiving. Afterward, it was as if a switch had flipped — he started smiling and acting happy. We got our outlits together and prepared for the day. I couldn’t stop thinking about what had happened just hours earlier but continued to lay everyone’s clothes on the bed. We were going to a family member’s house for Thanksgiving dinner, so I set everyone’s outfits out. Once we were all dressed, I forced a fake smile despite the welt marks on my leg. We went to their house surrounded by a large, loving family and gathered around the dinner table to pray and share What we were thankiul for. It was my first time praying out loud in front of people, and it felt like a personal milestone despite the earlier incident.

After dinner, we returned home, and his other personality emerged again. He confronted me about praying in front of others as if it was wrong, making me feel guilty. That event has stuck