“Around 28 years ago, I unknowingly married a narcissist. At that time, I was not familiar with the term, but I now recognize the emotional and physical abuse that I faced. Being young at 22 and him being seven years older, I didn’t see him controling my thoughts, actions, and wardrobe as an issue. Instead, I believed his intense involvement in my life and decisions was a sign of love.

Initially, his actions felt like love, but gradually his controlling behavior became evident and unbearable. The trauma from that experience significantly impacted my personality and ability to trust others. Nowadays, I can quickly spot warning signs in relationships and interactions. However, back then, as a young adult, I was oblivious to these red flags. The experience continues to affect me – perhaps counseling would have made a difference if I had sought it out earlier. When confronted with friends or family facing similar struggles, flashbacks make me question how the absence of therapy has contributed to me suppressing these memories instead of addressing them head-on.

1- Used to ignore such thoughts or sweep them under the rug, even if they troubled me. Hearing someone else share similar experiences made it relevant and helped me develop a clearer understanding of my past circumstances.

As I became more observant of his behavior and attitude towards me, I began to better understand his narcissistic abuse. Some warning signs included his habitual lying and, even when confronted with evidence proving him wrong.

1- Always knew he had some issues and that his childhood was filled with trauma; being young and naive, I thought that perhaps I could change him. I believed that since I was a decent person who wanted the best for both of us, I could make a positive impact on him. However, our relationship only grew worse over time, with him eventually becoming physically abusive. He once choked me in our closet when we were home alone, then later claimed it was because he loved me so much and that it was my fault for making him do it. This made me question if our relationship could be called love.